This week at work, I met a couple of students who didn’t know each other but who told a somewhat similar story. A story that you might find familiar yourself. A story of feeling let down, abandoned, and disappointed by people in their lives who were supposed to be there for them, people whom they trusted and called a friend, but who somehow just left and stopped wanting to be friends. Sometimes this is as a result of a conflict or fall out, sometimes there just seems like there are no apparent reasons. In these cases, it’s not uncommon to feel a mix of confusion, sadness and frustration. Often, as a way to cope with the situation, we are faced with two choices. Do I try to mend things with this friend, perhaps give her more space and time, and maybe hope that things can be back to ‘normal’ again? Or, can I accept that things are no longer the same and find a way to let go and move on?
It’s not an easy choice to make and the process of trying to make that decision can be arduous in and of itself. Relationships can sometimes be straight forward and simple, or complicated and bewildering. Human beings, afterall, can be unpredictable. I was asked by these students I met what they should do, what choice they should make. Should they move on, or should they stick around and hope for the best?
The most honest answer I can give is that I don’t know. I’m not a relationship expert. In fact, I probably have had more failed relationships than successful ones. The number of friends I consider tried and true can be counted…on one hand. I often feel like you’re the best expert in your own life (even though you don’t feel like one). I also feel like sometimes we do know what to do…but it can be hard to let go, especially as it comes to friendship that truly mattered. I came across this poem today though, that I just feel hit the nail on the head as it comes to the process of letting go. So I’m going to share it with you.
Take a breath. Have a read. See what comes up for you. Replaced the ‘she’ with a ‘he’ if you have to. Whatever it is that you want to let go of, I hope this poem would help in a small way.
She let go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry,
she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations
about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone
~ Reverend Safire Rose