During the recent June school holidays, I took off for 3 weeks to volunteer in a small seaside town called Otsuchi in Iwate prefecture in the north-east of Japan. Otsuchi was hit by a 20 metre tsunami in the March 11th earthquake and most of everything was washed off. As the vehicle trundled into the town, there were no buildings in sight. Just endless miles of NOTHING. Empty plots of land where houses and commerical buildings used to be and lots and lots of dust and debri. It seemed like someone had inadvertently dropped a nuclear bomb on the town and forgot to inform the residents to evacuate. So many people vanished, swallowed up by the sea, listed as ‘missing’.
Many who survived are living in this community centre sitting at the top of the hill overlooking what used to be a beautiful seaside town. It is in this community centre that I spent most of my time playing with children, making coffee (an ironic throwback to my time as a barista) and talking to the elderly folks, listening to their stories. Most of them escaped with only the clothes on their back. There was no time to pack…I wondered what it would be like if I no longer had any possessions except for the Muji polo tee and khakis I’m wearing now. At least it’s Muji.
All over the world people gave props to the Japanese for their resilience in the face of adversity. Resilience is not complicated…it’s about bouncing back from stuff and events that got you down. For the Otsuchi people it’s bouncing back from their grief of losing family and friends and their lost jobs and property however uncertain their future might seem. And there will always be people who bounce well and those who don’t the whys and hows of which would be the subject of another blog post.
We can’t control whether adversities happen to us. In fact some would say it’s not a matter of whether adversties could hit us but rather when. And these adversities could range from 20 metre tsunamis to repeatedly failing your math test, to breaking up with your long-term boy/girlfriend. We can’t control what sets us back, but we can control how we choose to respond to it. I say ‘choose’ because that’s really what it is…a choice that we can exercise. Sometimes the setback is so great and grievous we feel we can’t choose and that’s a perfectly normal human response as well. I have had my fair share of adversities some of which I bounce back from quickly and some of which left me feeling defeated and deflated. But as I look back (and of course with hind sight everything looks clearer) I have to admit I had choices to make and I didn’t always make wise ones. We can learn to make wiser choices, to respond to adversities in a way that is kinder to ourselves, we can learn to become more resilient. In a way, we kinda have to. (above picture taken with Mr Akasaki, town council member of Otsuchi. At least he escaped with his mobile phone!)
Okay I have no life. During Chinese New Year instead of shamelessly collecting ang pows (shameless considering my age) I was reading an article titled ‘arresting psychosis in the young’ in The Straits Times just this past weekend. In this article, it talked about a large-scale research study that the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) initiated in a bid to find out more about the difference between normal and at-risk persons for a mental health condition known as psychosis.
Psychosis is little know among many of us. We are familiar with terms such as clinical depression, anxiety disorder and anorexia/bulimia but considering that psychosis that leads to schizohprenia is most likely to start between the ages of 15 and 29, it’s palpable how little we know. Psychosis is a condition of the mind and a person suffering from psychosis can experience hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that are not there), delusions (e.g. thinking that people are watching you) or other abnormal behavior (e.g. talking or smiling to yourself). You can see that some of these symptoms can be a bit ‘scary’ for some people especially family members and friends of persons suffering from psychosis. Often it has been mistaken as demonic possession or as the Chinese puts it ‘Gui Shang Shen’. No doubt this is attributed to ‘The Exorcist’ and other horror films depicting demonic possession and in some cases these ‘spirits’ or ‘demons’ can even jump from person to person! What then happens is that instead of receiving psychiatric treatment, these people suffering from psychosis are brought to mediums or priests who could help to ‘cast out’ the demons and ‘cure’ the person.
I’ve been asked what my views are of possession, whether I believe there’s such a thing. I think that’s really missing the point because it doesn’t matter what my views are of possession. What matters is that many of these cases are really incidents of psychotic episodes which is highly treatable with medication if it’s detected early. Really what is needed more is information, knowledge and empathic understanding. Do check out the Early Psychosis Intervention Program (EPIP) website to find out more. http://www.epip.org.sg
Happy New Year everyone! A little belated but at least it’s still January! Someone mentioned to me this morning that he’s gonna check out my blog which got me freaked out for a second there cos I haven’t been very good at keeping up with the writing. So it was a good nudge to start the writing again.
I’ve been wanting to finish this Lady Gaga post forever. In fact I got it in my draft for a good 6 months but didn’t do anything about it. I happened to catch it on Ellen last year and was struck by some of the things that Lady Gaga said about feeling that she doesn’t fit in school and felt kind of left out in high school. It just didn’t seem like something we would expect her to say because she has so many fans all over the world! She talked about wanting to create a space for her fans to feel like they belong and also how she didn’t feel like a winner inside but it doesn’t mean that she wasn’t one. So it just got me thinking about how we are surrounded by unique individuals in our lives and how we are also unique in our own way. Sometimes our uniqueness might mean that we don’t belong or ‘fit’ as much as we would like to especially in school. But it doesn’t mean that there’s something ‘wrong’ with us. So I was inspired by how Lady Gaga celebrated her own uniqueness and quirkiness.
I’m very often quite the loner myself, preferring to bury my head in a book than to socialize. It took me quite a long time to become comfortable in my own skin and it’s still a work in progress on some days. So I guess I’m hoping that some of you out there who don’t feel like you ‘fit’ could take some comfort and inspiration from here and grow to celebrate yourself for who you are.
Promotional exams results will be released this coming Monday. Last year I wrote about Rubics Cube as an analogy of how some of you might have to take detours (meaning retain in JC1) to get to where you want to go ultimately (admission into university). This year again some would be promoted, some would have to take supplementary exams (if any), some superannuated (technical term for not being able to continue JC education) and some asked to withdraw. Whichever the case, there’s often a fair amount of anxiety right before receiving the results and if you’re promoted then great. Heave a sigh of relief. But what if you’re not promoted? What if you have to retain? Or what if you are asked to leave? Then what do you do?
I’ve found in life that there is nothing too catastrophic that our resilient spirits cannot take. At any one time when we get very bad news we might think that we could not deal with it and that it’s the end of the road for us. But ask any JC1 senior and a large number of them would tell you that the extra year was necessary and helpful to them in getting the grades they want for A’levels. And students who are asked to leave would eventually find something that they can excel and succeed in. JC is not the end all for future happiness in life.
The way we deal with the unknown and unforseeable future, the way we deal with life adversities shape our character and fortitude. And I think if you looked back in your own past, you would find times when you thought the pain and disappointment was unbearable but you pulled through anyway. Habituating ourselves to think positively about ourselves, the people around us, the unknown situations we face help us to keep our sanity. And it’s not about being pollyanna either but really more about explaining bad situations in a non self-destructive way. Check out HPB’s cute little video (above). Be the elephant! =)
World Mental Health Day falls on 10 October 2010 this year and is commemorated every year to bring about public awareness of mental health issues. So this weekend there’s going to be a myriad of events and talks organised by various institutions to help members of the public better understand what is mental health, what would constitute a mental disorder, and also some ways to be more positive and reduce stress in life. To check out what’s going on this weekend for World Mental Health Day, go to HPB’s website . Although I know promos is next week and many of you would probably be burying your head in your books…
In a Mental Health Carnival held at Paya Lebar last weekend, MP for Marina Parade GRC Fatimah Lateef was interviewed and she said that “37 percent (of people surveyed) said even if they had serious mental health symptoms, they would not come forward to seek professional help because of the fear of stigma” (see the entire article http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1084851/1/.html). I think this reflects a rather sad state of affairs in our society today which is why events like World Mental Health Day is significant because it tries to address the heart of the issues involved here and which is also why I’m choosing to write a series on mental health. The World Health Organisation wants to send out the message that there is no physical health without mental health which I think succintly describes our society’s stilted emphasis on physical health (think billion dollar vitamin industry) over and above taking good care of our minds. So do check out HPB’s website on ‘Be Positive’ when you have some time on your hand. S.M.I.L.E =)
Hi, taking a little ‘detour’ here from our current topic of discussion. Given that it’s the period of Prelims and I’ve had increasing number of students telling me that they feel extremely anxious right before their test, do take a look at the post I wrote last year on Exam Anxiety.
I’m not sure why it’s helpful to know celebrities who had to battle clinical depression. Perhaps it makes us feel that “okay…if this person who is so successful, rich and famous had depression then it’s okay that I too am battling depression”. Perhaps there are miscontrued mindsets about people who get depression, that they must be weak, crazy or “flawed” in some fundamental ways to “fall prey” to depression in the first place. So it surprises (perhaps even shock) us when we come to know of celebrities who had depression and then perhaps it helps to redefine what we think of people with depression.
I’m not the biggest fan of harry potter but I was rather inspired by JK Rowling’s rags-to-riches story. She was number 2 on Forbes list of 20 riches women in entertainment in 2007 (2nd only to Oprah Winfrey). Not bad at all for a single mother who was taking care of 3 children and living on welfare. Another known fact about JK Rowling was her struggle with depression. She has been very open about it in the hope that it would help remove the stigma surrounding mental illness. At one of her darkest moments, she contemplated suicide but stopped herself and went to see a counsellor. Click this link to read more about her story on BBC news website.
Another oft-quoted celebrity who also openly struggled with his depression is Jim Carrey. I for one was surprised when I did some research on the internet and his name popped up. I’ve always known Jim Carrey as the comedian with the incredible rubber face and his 1994 hit movie “The Mask” (some of you were still babies at that time!!). Reading about his life story and how he overcame depression gave me new meaning for resilience in adversity.
I feel sad when friends or students who are experiencing clinical depression put themselves down or think they are inferior and abnormal or think that people will look down on them. Some refuse to seek treatment as a result of this inaccurate perception of self and what depression is. And I feel indignant when the community shuns them (whether in fear or ignorance) and fails to offer the support that they would normally give another friend in need. Let’s educate ourselves on these issues and perhaps right here at YJ we can build a community of care, understanding and inclusivity.
You might have heard the word ‘depression’ being bandied around sometimes. You might also have heard your classmate say, ‘I feel so depressed I don’t feel like coming to school’. There are lots of information available online on what depression really is but I thought I would write about it anyway because the way I see it there is still a number of half-truths out there. What I write, however, is by no means a substitute for proper assessment and diagnosis by a medical doctor so in cases when you’re not sure please consult a doctor or come and see me.
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) in America defines depression as a medical illness that is different from just feeling upset or abit down once in awhile. Some signs and symptoms of depressionmay include a combination of persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness (and persistent means more than 2 weeks), social withdrawal, loss of interest in things that you used to enjoy doing, loss in appetite, disruption of sleep (insomnia or early wakefulness), feelings of hopelessness, lethargy and even thoughts of suicide.
Person with depressionis not crazyor has lost his or her mind. I think that’s a point that I often try to make with parents, students and teachers alike. Just as we wouldn’t discriminate against somebody with diabetes who seeks treatment from an endocrinologist and say he/she is ‘something wrong’, we shouldn’t discriminate against someone with depression who seeks treatment from a psychiatrist. I mean what century do we live in right? And it can happen to any of us. In Singapore, a 1998 survey on ‘The Mental Health of a Nation’ reports depression prevalence rates of 8.6% among those aged 13-65!
Depression is highly treatable with medication and therapy. Again, these medication do not ‘make you crazy’ and do not make you an addict. It works on our brain chemicals specifically the neurotransmitters such as serotonin and neopinephrine (I’m sure I’m spelling this wrong) to restore its balance. To find out more about what is depression and how it’s treated, check out the 4 minute video above and also check out the NIMH website. http://www.nimh.nih.gov.
I’ve been wanting to write a series on mental illness for some time coming now. You can say it’s one of my pet topics apart from youth issues and I’m oddly passionate about educating people with regards to mental illness. Maybe it’s because there are so many misconceptions surrounding mental illness and there’s still so much stigmatization pervasive in our society that the closet Martin Luther King in me just wants to leap out and speak out. I remember 2 years ago I even joined the inaugural World Mental Health Day walk-for-a-cause down Orchard Road wearing T-shirts emblazoned with Charlie Chaplin’s face with a tagline that read ‘people with mental illness enrich our lives’.
So in the next couple of weeks, I would write a series on Mental Illness covering some basic stuff on common ailments such as depression, anxiety and early psychosis etc. I hope with greater knowledge and awareness that people would let go of their stigmas and biases so we could all aspire towards a community marked by compassion and equanimity. I would also write about destigmatization and bring up a few examples of famous people who have struggled with mental illness some of whom I think would come as a surprise to some of us. Please feel free to comment. I think bringing questions out into open dialogue is yet another way to demystify issues surrounding mental illness.
I can’t believe it’s already May! I’m chooing to write about my mum in this post because in the recent stress management sessions I had with JC2 CTGs, I talked briefly about my relationship with my mother. Some students found it helpful in thinking about their own relationships with their family and suggested that I should write about it on the blog. The 2nd reason is that Mother’s Day is coming in 4 days (yikes!) and I’ve always had this love-hate thing about Mother’s Day. I think there are students who might feel the same way and so I guess I’m hoping this post would be helpful for them in some weird sort of way.
My relationship with my mum has always been one of the biggest stressors in my life. I think it came as a surprise to some students when I said I have a less-than-peachy relationship with my mum because some people may have expected counsellors to have a ‘problem-free’ life…haha. I won’t go into details about why and how our relationship is at the place that it’s at cos that would make this blog post too long, but suffice it to say that Mother’s Day has always been a stressful day for me. It is on this day, and the days leading up to it, that we’re constantly bombarded by messages of the loving relationship a mother and child should have, on this earth only mothers are good (literal translation of ‘shi shang zhi you ma ma hao’), how we need to be giving thanks for our mothers and how we need to show our gratitude by buying her this and that. So I was always left feeling guilty that I don’t really feel all of the above and it was a constant struggle for me. Mother’s Day then served only as a reminder of the relationship that I do not have with my mum and a certain creeping sense of loneliness that came along with that.
I think life hands us lemons sometimes. I’ve had my fair share of feeling bitter and wondering why life is so unfair. But when I came to the point when I could begin to accept and stop trying to control the uncontrollable, or change the unchangeable, then that was when I could exchange it for a greater sense of peace.Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we should give up on the difficult relationships in our lives and just stop trying. But sometimes the reality is that we may try very hard, but things might still not work out. Then what do we do? Do we sulk and lament and feel that the world is unfair? Or could we learn to accept and move on? I’ve tried many different ways to try to mend things with my mum and where it is now it can only be best described as a ‘dormant volcano’…hahaha…It’s not the best place I want to be at, but it’s something I think I could live with….
During the recent June school holidays, I took off for 3 weeks to volunteer in a small seaside town called Otsuchi in Iwate prefecture in the north-east of Japan. Otsuchi was hit by a 20 metre tsunami in the March 11th earthquake and most of everything was washed off. As the vehicle trundled into the town, there were no buildings in sight. Just endless miles of NOTHING. Empty plots of land where houses and commerical buildings used to be and lots and lots of dust and debri. It seemed like someone had inadvertently dropped a nuclear bomb on the town and forgot to inform the residents to evacuate. So many people vanished, swallowed up by the sea, listed as ‘missing’.
